so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
