I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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