When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
