? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
