Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
