I want to make a zoo with you.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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