What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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