If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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