Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
