belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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