My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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