she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
