i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
