me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize