morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
