I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
