He kissed a someone with a penis
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
