Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
