Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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