Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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