He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I am morally bankrupt
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
