i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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