it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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