I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
