You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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