i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The air taste purple.
Randomize
