Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
