3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
