I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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