the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
