Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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