Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
