No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
