Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
