Where is the hickey?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ketchup is God's man juice
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
