You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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