are you still at the devil's house?
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
