Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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