I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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