Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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