Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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