After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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