If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize