I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
