OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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