You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
