yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
