then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize