omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
