I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
