I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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