then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
