well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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