Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Im part way to drunk.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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