she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize