I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
