she was so not down for the gang bang
and she was petting her beer can
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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