at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
FUCK WHALES
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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